What if you could have it all?

Tessa Burns MartinParenting, Tessa Burns

“I can be a great mother and own a profitable business.” That is the mantra that my money coach has been encouraging me to work on. This thought has been a struggle because I find I have so many messages of choosing one or the other. Even when I was asked to reflect on my role models for women who were doing both- I struggled. I’m positive there are many women who are doing both, but they do not exist in my immediate consciousness.  I was raised by a stay-at-home mother, who gave her all to being a mother, so I grew up in the extreme. But, I really love the work I do as a psychologist and I love being a mother so I was caught wondering, how could I have it all?

It’s about recognizing the abundance

Since I was struggling with finding examples of others who were doing both really well, I started to think about my image of what it meant to do both. Then, my aha came to me! I’m working with a money coach because I pinch pennies in all areas of my life and I see the lack, no matter how much more money shows up in my life. I am working on noticing abundance. So, what would happen if I started to recognize the abundance that was existing in my life, instead of choosing lack.

That made me think of the abundance of love. I remember being pregnant with my son and wondering how I would be able to love another person as much as I love my husband. Then when my son arrived, it became very clear how deep and profound my love was for him. It didn’t make me love my husband any less. I felt like the love around me started to grow. Then, I became pregnant again (when my son was only 10 months old) and I got caught in the same thought process- would I be able to love another child without taking away love from my son. Obviously, my daughter was born and again I felt the abundance of love surge into my life. I don’t have to choose between giving one love and not the other- I love them both for everything that they are. Though my husband and I have not decided whether to have a third child, I can recognize that each additional child in our lives will all continue to be loved. My love is not like a pizza that I have to divide up. It is more like the water from the tap that continues to flow, no matter how many times I turn it back on.

Now I can have it all!

Since my love is ever-flowing, I can love my work and my children and nothing has to suffer. I can be present with my children and display to them how much love I have for them. And, I can show up with my clients and be present for them when I am at work. Both things can be true. This is the amazing thing that can happen when we step out of black and white thinking and start expanding our realm of possibility. Perhaps you are a mother, or perhaps you are stuck with your own dilemma that feels black and white. I hope my reflection can help you start to see all the other possibilities in between. If you are still feeling stuck, don’t hesitate to send me an email at tessa@devsnw.wpengine.com.

Here’s to all your possibilities!

Tessa Owner/Registered Psychologist

P.S.- If you would like to work more on increasing the possibilities in your life, email me for more information.